Life of a former fat girl and tattooed mom..

why fit in when you were born to stand out?

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Be happy! Let go of the past, let go of those who don’t want to stay in your life, let go of the things u can not change. Stop stressing over those who try to tear you down or those who have hurt you. Today is just 1 day of your life but could also be your last..how do u want to live it?

Be happy! Let go of the past, let go of those who don’t want to stay in your life, let go of the things u can not change. Stop stressing over those who try to tear you down or those who have hurt you. Today is just 1 day of your life but could also be your last..how do u want to live it?

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My son was asked to draw his family and his teacher asked who is this and he said “christopher and mommy” …this is the greatest moment I’ve ever had as a mom! #proudmama #family #love

My son was asked to draw his family and his teacher asked who is this and he said “christopher and mommy” …this is the greatest moment I’ve ever had as a mom! #proudmama #family #love

Filed under proudmama love family

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Feel the hurt..let go of the anger

Today I was faced with a tough decision of either seeking revenge/justice or taking a breath and walking away. Anger is such an easy feeling. To go after someone who has hurt you is usually the most natural instinct. To make them feel even an ounce of the pain they have made you feel seems like the greatest way to get over the hurt inside of you. To destroy them and take away something they love, for that moment brings you joy. You want to say as many hurtful things as possible along with getting the answers as to why they did what ever they did to hurt you. You also want to make them realize everything they’re losing by hurting you….
The thing is, all of that is temporary. All of those feelings are in the moment. Its the eye of the hurricane so to speak and causes the most damage if u let it run wild. Anger will not only destroy what hurt you but it will also destroy yourself. Those who claim their strength comes from shutting off their feelings are wrong. Those people let anger and hurt consume them. What they don’t realize is they’re actually weaker human beings for doing so. It takes strength to mourn and to fully take in the hurt and anger and to turn it into something positive. It takes strength and builds character to let a wound heal and scar without seeking revenge. I was once a woman who was hurt by someone I loved with all my heart and I did seek revenge. I made it my goal to destroy him and anything that meant something to him. Any chance I had to hurt him I did because I wanted him to feel a morsal of what he did to me. I spent over a year of my life doing this and although it gave me this temporary satisfaction, I gained nothing! I actually felt worse at the end and hated myself even more. I was no longer this great person I had claimed to be..I was just like him. I had so much anger in me. I lost who I once was. I was miserable and I was missing so much life because I was so consumed with darkness and rage. I couldn’t live that way, I didn’t want to live that way anymore and at that moment I let go.
Life is such a beautiful thing even with the hurt. My scars tell a story and I’d like to believe they make me brave for taking chances. I don’t regret love.. any of them because without the hurt they put me through I couldn’t be who I am today. Just like without losing the person that meant the most in my life I couldn’t appreciate those I still have and to treasure every moment possible as if it is my last. I could’ve done the easy thing today and said a bunch of things I didn’t really mean and done things to destroy someone but the fact is, I don’t want to hurt them. I don’t want to destroy them because I actually care. It is usually those we care about most, that when they hurt us we truly want to bury. I would rather this person remember me as I truly am than to let my inner demons portray me as someone I am not.
My passions in life come from the hurt I have been through. My art is an escape and a way for me to make beautiful things when I am feeling not so beautiful inside. My art makes others smile and brings a sense of light into their lives which in turn makes me feel like im helping them. My writing is my way of visualizing my thoughts and to keep my head from exploding. I want others to read my stories and know they’re not alone. My music is my escape when I can’t find my own words to express how I feel. I can scream someone else’s lyrics and have the comfort of knowing that they know how I feel. Running on trails is my way of feeling like I always have the option of getting away. I sing, I dance, I breathe in the fresh air of nature and all of the stress and hurt in life disappears and its just me running through nature. Passion for life is the greatest feeling in the world and helps destroy the anger. Today is just one day of your entire life…but the fact is, your life could end tomorrow so how important is that anger really?
Be beautiful, be strong, be passionate and let go..

Filed under strength lettinggo broken hurt behappy lovelife